Category Archives: Me, myself, I

Annus discombobulous

Praise be, this year’s nearly over. Dunno about you, dear reader, but can’t say I’ll be sorry to see the back of 2017. Boy, it’s been weird. Good riddance to an annus discombobulous, say I. Come Hogmanay, I’ll be joining in with Big Ben’s bongs (which have been temporarily brought out of their campanological silence,

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Digital dictatorship

Prepare yourselves, peeps. What you’re about to witness is some classic Word Up contrariness. Breathe deep and get ready for a spot of mind-melting as I try to explain the ever-tightening web of confusion I find myself wrapped up in. But before I go further, please be aware that every single word cast here in ever-lasting digital stone comes

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Fear not

Go on, I dare you. Cock a snook. Flick the V. Slap a stern look on. Cross your arms firmly over your chest, plant your feet and jut your chin out. Then round it all off by refusing to budge. There now, doesn’t that solid defiance stance feel good? Bloody good, I’d say, if a

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Alien invasion

Scotland the brave, beautiful and about-to-be-invaded. Again. This time tho’, it’s not the Vikings, the aristocracy, or even the Romans who are threatening to take our territory by force, or horned helmets. Naw, looks like the latest phalanx of alien invaders are likely to be our nearest neighbours. Seems like quite a few Anglo-Saxons (and other

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All aboard

There’s nothing weird about me. My transport of choice would hardly rank me high on the slightly strange register. Would it? Apparently, yes. Judging by the perplexed/”you’re kidding?” reaction I regularly witness, you’d think I’d done something very distasteful or outré indeed, but the social faux pas in question is using the bus. Seems that the very thought

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Silence is olden

Wrinkles, a spare tire, sag and spread. A light sprinkling of liver spots, the sprouting of some rather robust facial hair, a pair of creaky knees, a brace of aching hips, and the distinct droop of a once proud embonpoint. Another year is about to pass into the history books, adding another chapter to the litany of advancing

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Liberal application

    We’ve only got ourselves to blame. For Donald Trump. Harsh maybe, and fair enough, those of living on this side of the pond can’t exactly be held responsible for the relentless rise of the blond bequiffed behemoth, but the modern liberati sure have a lot to answer for.     For it is

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Big grapple

Bright lights, big city right enough. Yup, the Big Apple sure is a pulsating, glittering metropolis unlike any other. It’s a veritable feast of 3D technicolour, surround sound, smell-o-vision and taste sensations. It even feels different. Dammit, New York is just so alive! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve heard it all before. Returnee tales of pancakes

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Restless natives

    Even as a Weegie* I’ve always felt kinda continental. Somehow or other my own DNA circumvented the dominant freckly-faced, gingery genes of my Scottish, English and Irish heritage, and I’ve always harboured the fantasy that there must be un poco of Spanish pirate somewhere in our family bloodline. But as I sit here in this

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Bad press

I am the enemy. Or at least I used to be. Once upon a time, I was one of the bad guys. Back in the day, I earned a crust as a member of the Fourth Estate, Oh yes, dahlings, for a great big chunk of my adult life, I worked in the media. Yep,

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