Only human

Finding the positives is a big ask during these interminable pandemic times. Yeah, on paper it’s good to focus on silver linings, half full glasses, the bright side etc, but c’mon, let’s get real. The oppressive weight of this Covid crapola makes it bloody hard to slam on a smile. Being grateful for the small stuff, let alone large, sometimes feels like an unattainable ambition. Lifting yourself up out of the groundhog day grind is tough, especially when you’re battling with the Covid blues.

So yes, I’ve found it hard to be upbeat and energetic, and have done my fair share of wallowing. But for this wordy contribution to the pandemic discourse, I decided to cast my peepers over the last 12 months to find those chinks of light which have illuminated the gloom.

On reflection, and perhaps not surprisingly, the brightest lights have taken on human form. Spells of good weather, having a good gaff, a nice garden and a decent income have massively helped keep head above water, but for me it’s people who have made this last year bearable when all else failed. So many good souls have stepped up to the pandemic plate – individuals who extended a kind word or a virtual hug; neighbours offering help and socially distanced cheery chat; random folks who’ve shared hope, advice or a kind word; friends who deliver great laughs, shared grief and moments of solace; family members, both near and far, checking in now and again just to compare notes and shoot the shit; fave clients and newbies, even strangers met in the course of online work, connecting with warmth – you’re simply amazing. In fact, I’d go as far as to say you’ve kept me afloat.

These humans, and all others, have been a source of lifelong fascination for this fellow mere mortal, and no wonder. You never fail to entertain, disappoint and surprise, even/especially in the pandemic. Some of you were, and remain, absolute zoomers. Others discredit our species with despicable, cruel or thoughtless behaviour, whilst so many are decent and good right down to their core. You’re complex and crazy, and often an absolute pain in the arse. You create hope and despair in equal measure, you’re both maddening and gladdening. You can provoke tears or fury with the way you act out, but you’re also as funny as f**k. You’ve got layers, depths and back stories which might shed light on how you behave, if only other tribe members took time to listen and learn. For creatures of habit, you’re utterly unpredictable but then again, you are only human.

I cannot wait to get back in amongst you, even the absolute doozies and the bams on the bus. You are what make this wee woman tick. Sure, you’ll be driving me nuts in no time at all, but really, I’ve missed you so much. I’m ready to rejoin you despite all your foibles, but once this is all over, gonnae do us a favour dear humans? Put aside your petty bullshit and try to be nice.