Sshhhhhht! Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve got a confession to make.
See, I’ve been completely and utterly undecided. No, not about the big vote, I’ve been completely and utterly decided on which box I will be placing my X in long since. Nope, the vacillation, the dithering and the procrastination causing all kinds of angst in the Word Up nerve centre this week, and for the last few months, isn’t so much Yes or No, more should I or shouldn’t I?
I simply could not decide whether, in this last fevered week of referendum campaigning, I should finally nail my political colours to the mast, or just stay schtum. But it’s strange that I’ve found myself swithering for Scotland – who’d have thought that this decision would turn out to be quite so tricky for a self-confessed political animal and news junkie?
See, this here is someone with much more than a passing interest in current affairs and the state of the nation. This here is a person who gets withdrawal symptoms if she misses even the first chime of News at 10. This here is someone who loves nothing more than a bit of socio-politico discourse over a cheeky wee bevvy and a poke of pickled onion crisps.
But since the last time I was required to make my mark on a ballot paper of any kind, I have entered the small business sphere. And since joining the ranks of commerce (or should that be capitalist running dogs?), I have felt it necessary to maintain a more-or-less dignified silence, online anyway, about my referendum leanings.
I can’t say the same for my personal politics tho’. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am broadly left leaning, a supporter of the underdog, champion of the wee man and wumman, and advocate of equality. I freely confess that I am a political animal tho’ not a party political one, and I’ll talk face-to-face ’til the cows come home about which way I’m casting my vote. But it feels like a whole different can of worms to fly my politics up the flagpole when it comes to Word Up.
Maybe it’s just the BBC veteran in me (and pleeeeeeease, gonnae no’ get started – 10 years in BBC Sport taught me all I ever need to know when it comes to accusations of bias. Believe me, the Yes/No conspiracy theorists are small beer compared to the madness that flows into the Beeb from both sides of the great Glesga fitba divide), but I’m genuinely trying to see the bigger picture politically. That, and I simply can’t afford to risk losing clients at this early stage in enterprise.
I’m not shy, and I’m not particularly secretive when it comes to my voting intentions, but on balance it made no sense for a fledgling sole trader in the business of building business up to make a declaration either way, and especially not in my online presence. Hence radio silence and referendum reticence from this small business.
But even as you read, I am preparing for polling day. Pickled onion crisps and few wee sherbets are being stocked up as sustenance for my all-night scrutiny of the whole shebang. And like all good captains of industry, I’m already making plans for my part in Scotland’s future, no matter which way the political pendulum swings.