Missing in action

Two weeks on the Dalmatian coast did wonders for this old wordsmith’s suntan, but a long overdue holiday unexpectedly left me with a yawning gap in my life. This spiritual hole is not so much existential crisis, simply a severe case of ennui.

That feels a bit wrong. Holidays are supposed to invigorate and energise, aren’t they? I’m supposed to have bounded back into business bursting with ideas, grand plans and sole trading schemes, but no. My motivation is definitely missing in action.

The ascent of Bojo may be partially to blame for the absence of mojo – it’s certainly been a spirit-sapping week, socio-politically speaking. The present political landscape is enough to drain anyone’s energy (unless, of course, you are a big Boris backer. In which case you are almost certainly not Scottish), and current shenanigans are enervating in the extreme. Brexit is not my bag, baby – you certainly won’t catch me hanging the bunting out or hoisting the Union Jack high – but the new PM and his slash, burn and shuffle antics are not the sole cause of my slump.

Exactly where this current wet blanket state of mind came from is hard to pinpoint, but there’s no getting away from it, my synapses are soggy. Summer usually represents a slight dip in the frantically spinning whirligig of my working life, and yes, it’s important to make the most of a lull, but enterprise feels like a hell of an effort right now. The heat hasn’t helped, nor has living with a teenager, and I am barely holding it together some days thanks to the unfortunate prevalence of hormonal migraines. BTW, too bad if you’re fed up hearing about my menopause, you’re not as fed up as me…

Perhaps a fortnight off was not quite long enough for a full recharge, methinks the knackeredness was pretty deep-rooted. I’ve learned that successful self-employment requires heavy leaning on the ON switch a lot of the time, that’s why you really, really have to take breaks if you want to thrive and survive. So listen up newbies, pay no heed to any of the gung-ho enterprise gurus advocating 24/7, 365 – crash and burn is not the way forward in commerce. The business of business does wear you out and there’s bound to be slump time now and again. We all have these paralysis phases, and they pass in due course, but here’s the rub. When you run your own business, you can’t really afford to indulge in mental mushiness. Or certainly not for long.

That said, personal energy is renewable and I feel lucky, lucky, lucky to have had great projects to work on over recent months and I look forward to more once I recover my mojo. As it is, I can’t seem to get my current slump shifted. But I simply have to. So wish me luck as I try to snap out of it and get back into the swing of small business. I’ll be giving myself a good kick up the backside before long. Just as soon as I can get up off my arse…